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Across a crowded room, I saw him, he had such a sweet smile, but it was when our eyes connected that we walked towards each other.

“May I have this next dance?” he asked.

That was how my now husband and I met. In a Ballroom Dance Class when the instructor asked us to find a new partner.

Mr. Chair, Fellow Toastmasters, Honoured Guests, The Connection we create with each other through eye contact is so natural we don’t realize how often they happen in our daily lives.

I was thinking how natural it was to look at a friend in the eye and tell them a story or look at a sibling with that knowing look without saying any more words when their parent does something and know they are thinking about the same thing.

I wondered how I could tap into that naturalness of eye contact in our daily lives when I was speaking in front of a group.

I thought the best way was to reflect on how I’ve felt before in instances of eye contact.

When I noticed how eye contact was in a daily moment and whether it was powerful. If I could pinpoint a few feelings I thought maybe it would make it easier for me to do while giving a talk,

4 things came to mind when I have good eye contact with someone.

The first one is, it increases my focused attention.

The other day, I was trying to get dinner on the table and my 6 year old kept chattering and buzzin around me about her day at school. “The teacher read them a story, some kid had an accident at the playground, they did some artwork with construction paper.”

I remembered the gist of what she was saying, but that was about it for me. The next day we were sitting on

When she could see my eyes were listening then she knew my ears were listening.

It is so natural in our everyday lives that when placed in a setting that doesn’t happen all the time, like standing in front of a group of people, we might find it difficult to maintain eye contact or to even use eye contact.

The second thing is, it connects us to each other.

I’ll walk by so many people, and I may even by someone who I did know but either The first connection is when my eyes recognize someone familiar…instantly I personally feel more connected with them than a stranger that is standing beside them. And I feel an even stronger connection when they look at me and both of us recognize each other.

It wouldn’t even matter if we were across a room or beside each other, the connection of our eyes closes the distance for me and I feel more at ease.

And that leads to a third point, eye contact Makes me feel more involved with you.

I was on a field trip the other day as a parent driver and the teacher had a short informal speech at the end, where she was thanking all of us parents who volunteered throughout the year on various events, whether it was a field trip, or the carnival they had. I was listening to thank us, but all of a sudden it felt more personal when she seemed to look straight at me and was saying thank you for driving. Even though it was addressed to all of us parents there,

I felt especially more included because she was looking at me.

Helps you persuade

These 4 points of eye contact: Having so much more focused attention, feeling connected with people we look at, feeling involved when someone looks at me, and being able to persuade each other leads me to one conclusion….

That having strong eye contact with others is a much more meaningful way of communicating and sharing with each other.

When we don’t look at each other enough we don’t get a solid connection or feel for each other’s thoughts and ideas.

I hope that in my future talks I will be able to infuse those strong connections and I invite you to listen the next time eye to eye.